Frappe Break: 4 Captivating Ways to Own Your Confidence

Frappe Breaks are little doses of creativity that can be injected into your day at any point. They’re meant to inspire, wake you up, and put some fire under your feet! They’re just as potent as any cup of real coffee (or in my case, a good ‘ol frappe), just without all the jitters, and possible midday energy drains.

Brief:

Have you all heard of the amazing Nadia Bilchik? She’s a captivating journalist and speaker, who also happens to be a master at owning her confidence. She’s so great at nailing her confidence, that she gets booked to teach others how to do just that. Oh, I can’t forget about her TEDx talk, either, she covers this very topic there too.

But, I’ve fangirled enough! I actually attended one of her events, and I’m here to give you a little taste of what it’s like to Light A Fire, and Own Your Confidence, while also injecting a few creative exercises that I’ve found across the web. Enjoy!

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Deliverables:

Use Nadia’s “F.I.R.E.” principles to guide you as you complete each exercise. By the end of this post, you’ll understand what it means to Light a F.I.R.E, while also being able to identify what kind of F.I.R.E you should be lighting to propel your life forward!

Before you start, it’s best to grab a notebook or journal that you’re going to keep up with. If you’d rather go digital try apps like Journey, Shine, or Bubblup to document everything.

“F” is for Feel Good About Yourself

The number one way to feel good about yourself is to get in touch with and identify your emotions. According to Nadia, the best way to accomplish this is to look at your current relationship with yourself. Is it a positive one? Start thinking about ways in which you can build a “positive emotional database.” This is simple to do!

You are one in a competitive world but you are the world to one person.

Exercise: The Positive Emotional Database

That one person in this scenario is YOU! The Positive Emotional Database exercise will help you start to lay a positive foundation on your journey to confidence.

1. Start off by grabbing a sheet of paper or opening a blank note tab on your phone.
   
2. List 5 future things that makes you happy when you think about accomplishing them.
   
3. List 5 people that make you happy.
   
4. List 5 events, celebrations, or memories that have made you happy.

This list is your foundation and confidence booster! You have a list of people, things, and experiences that have propelled your happiness thus far. Re-read it if you’re ever feeling low, and continue to add to it as you encounter things that make you glow!

Take it a step further: Consider creating a physical positivity jar! Pull out one of your happy memories, whenever you need a little extra boost.

Sometimes you have to act up when you’re feeling down

“I” is for Showing a Genuine Interest in Others

Nadia pointed something out when she brought up this idea of making genuine connections with others. She said, everyone has a past, present, and a future, and you don’t have the be the hostess to host. I said a lot with that last sentence so let me break it down.

You don’t have to be the hostess to be the host. You can always be the host.

Every single person that you meet has a story. You absolutely do not have to be the life of the party in order to make your presence known at the party. This figurative party could be any event or place: on your team, at a networking event, etc.

3 Steps to showing up authentically, no matter who you are, or where you are in life:

1. Start off by showing authentic interest. you absolutely can’t make this up.
2. Don’t one-up anyone, and be relatable instead. Remember this: don’t make it about you, but also show empathy.
3. Learn how to follow-up on your interactions

Exercise: Breakroom Buddha’s Coffee Chats

Are you ready to put your skills to the test? Let’s dive into the Breakroom Buddha “Coffee Chat” experience. This experience normally consists of you reaching out to professionals to get a sense of what they’re work-life is like.

I’m challenging you to flip this experience on its head! Instead of asking people about what they do for a living, ask them those personal “get to know you” type of questions. Keep the questions respectable and relatable!

This exercise will challenge you to go beyond surface-level interactions, and tug at your empathy strings. If you need examples of the types of respectable personal questions you can ask, check out the template below!

If you’re looking for people to connect with, join the Breakroom Buddha Young Professionals group, and set up a coffee chat with one of the members!

“R” is for Relax

The less you need something the more power you have

Nadia’s theory here was to not to give away your power on purpose, by putting energy into trivial matters. By you honing in on your power, you’ll add a notch to your confidence, while also keeping a cool head. After all, confidence is all about how well you react to a situation as well.

In this same vein, knowing your purpose and mission and your “why” can help you combat the haters and self-deprecating inner voice that we all have. Remember, your purpose is your driving force!

Exercise: Trey Roth’s Purpose Purge

The next step on the “owning your confidence” journey is to identify your purpose! We’re going to take a page out of Trey Roth’s book. In this exercise, we’ll distinctively call out the things that energize us, vs the things that deplete us. The activities and day-to-day tasks that gets us pumped on a daily basis are the items that will keep us moving towards our purpose.

1. Start off by grabbing a sheet of paper (physical or virtual) and drawing a line straight down the middle.
   
2. At the top of the left column write: Things that Break My Heart” and on the top of the right column write: “Things That Makes My Heart Sing”
   
3. Set a timer for 1 minute for each column. Write down every single thing that comes to mind, and don’t censor yourself. (note: if you did the Positive Emotional Database exercise above, try to come up with a new list. I know you can do it!)
   
4. After your time is up, go back and read both sides out loud separately.
   
5. Begin working up a plan (and write it down) on how you will begin to cut the things out of your life that “Breaks Your Heart”
   
6. Move on to the “Makes My Heart Sing” section. Begin jotting down how you will start engaging in more activities that put you closer to the things that bring you joy.

Hold this list tight. Do this exercise at least once a month to make sure that you are continuously moving on a path towards greatness.

“E” is for Engaging

The amount of space you take up is directly related to how comfortable you look. Go back and read that again. Engaging is all about the energy that you give off, as well as how you choose to receive someone else’s energy. This engagement can be seen and experienced with both verbal and non-verbal cues.

Make sure that you are checking the energy you give off. You never want someone to say (or think) “This person isn’t in the space to receive me.”

If you’re finding that the opposite is happening, and you’re enthusiastically engaging, but the other person is not, then it’s okay to move on. Don’t push against closed doors, because there are enough open doors!

Nobody views you with the life microscope that you view yourself.

Exercise: Breakroom Buddha’s Energy Saver Checklist

If you feel like you are giving off negative vibes, or find yourself lacking the motivation to stay engaged, then it’s time to check in with yourself.

Let’s start off by release some of that negative energy:

• Take a deep breath and hold it for 5 seconds
• As you let your breathe out say, “HUHHHH” as loud as you can.
• Jump up and down, wave your hands in the air, and smile as wide as you can.

Congratulations, you just released an enormous amount of stress! Now, download the template below, and record how you’re feeling.

Remember to be kind when you’re checking in on yourself!

More Ways to Own Your Confidence

The world has a way of making space for the people that look like they know where they’re going.

• Don’t make anyone you encounter feel invisible.
• Don’t take things personally, and don’t make assumptions.
• “If it’s to be, it’s up to me”
• Put yourself in other people’s shoes. Try to visualize yourself, as the person is giving you problems, and try to see the world from their eyes.
• Being resilient and learning how to handle conflict, is a major key!

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TEDx Talk |”Own Your Confidence“

Check out Nadia’s full Tedx Talk about owning your confidence below!

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Your Results: 

If you’re up to it, share your personal/professional discoveries with the readers over on Human Resources. You’ll be featured on the community’s Employee Resource Group page!

Featured Image by: Breakroom Buddha