Advice for New Grads: What To Do When You Feel Lost In Life

Deja White

3 years ago

It’s that time of year again.

It’s tassel turnin’, car packin’, road-trippin’, and “what am I doing what my life again?” season.

But, before you embark on this new adventure (aka life), I want to give you a gift and a few words of encouragement.

My gift and words of encouragement are a little different than the traditional graduation speeches that you might be used to, but it’s just as rewarding.

Enjoy it, and Congrats Grad!

My Graduation Gift To You: Permission to Explore

No one should have to give you permission to spread your wings and explore.

But just in case you need it.

HERE IT IS… GO EXPLORE!

Use the prompts and resources I list below to figure out who the heck you are outside of your college town, your family’s expectations, or even your hometown.

(5) Things to Ask Yourself When You’re Alone With Your Thoughts

Yes, I can do ______ [blank], AND I can also do…
I’d tell my 16-year-old self to…
My last shower thought was…
When I grow up I will be…
If I wrote a Valentine’s Day love letter to myself, it would say…

(4) Things to Watch in Full-Screen Mode

Being Erica on Hulu
THE GAP by Ira Glass // Daniel Sax
This Oprah video compilation
One of these Graduation Speeches

(3) Things To Do All By Yourself

Create a list of 5 things that seem impossible to accomplish.
- Then, figure out how to do everything on that list
- Bonus Points: Create a password-protected website and document yourself completing each item on the list.
- Extra Credit: Share your entire journey on social media.
Learn something new every day.
Interact with someone new every day.

(2) Things To Listen To

Your inner voice.
- Deep down you know exactly what you want to do.
- Write that thing down, and do it.
This playlist. I made it to cheer myself up after I didn’t get something that I really wanted, and it worked.

(1) Thing To Stop Doing Immediately

Asking for people’s opinions/feedback to validate whatever you want to do or go wherever you’re headed next.

In other words… Just Do It. (Nike, don’t sue me…)

And speaking of Just Doing It… here’s a list of things you can JUST DO for the heck of it if you have no clue where to start.

Words of Encouragement for New Graduates

Last but certainly not least. The advice I wish someone would have given to me as a young doe-eyed college graduate. Feel free to save these words of encouragement and revisit them whenever you need them.

It’s okay to cry.
Rejection is your best friend.
Travel more. You can never travel enough.
“Comparison is the thief of progression and intentional gratefulness is the fuel to growth.” (Oyinkro K.)
Find a venting buddy. Find one person that you can talk to about work stuff and someone that you can talk to about personal stuff. Make sure they’re 2 different people. Bonus points if you find folks who don’t judge you.
It’s hard to make genuine friends post-college, especially if you move to a new city, but when you do make those new friends, make sure hanging out with them feels like sunshine.
Your career & personal life will be riddled with constant learning, gut feelings, and your ability to believe in yourself. Sometimes the line between work and life will blur. Make sure you’re intentional about keeping them separate and know who you are outside of work.
If an environment feels toxic, it is. Every opportunity is a chance to learn. Learn what you need to, but leave it as soon as you can.